I woke up sad this morning.  Half awake and half still asleep, I lay there immobilized, my heart heavy with the idea that my kids are growing up so fast.  It really does seem just like yesterday that Zoe would say something childlike in content and adult-like in manner to Zane.  As the older sister, she was always attempting to be mature with her brother, but her innocence would be exposed.  I would smile and think how wonderfully cute it was.  The last time I noticed this was within the past year, yet I can’t remember her doing it in the past 6 months, which confirms my fear that she has come to the other side.  I distinctly remember this about her when she was age 8, less so but still present in 9, and flickers of it when she first turned 10.  Now, just 3 months shy of 11, I hardly every witness such a moment .  The logical part of me knows that I did enjoy and savor these moments, but maternal guilt makes me think otherwise.  Did I do enough?  Did I appreciate it enough?  I will eventually move past this self-reflecting indulgence and do the only thing I can:  live in the moment.   But for now, I will take pause and mourn.